Played through Straitjacket Darkness universe without dying, with a horse head
Finished Shotgun universe in under 60 seconds
Beaten Rejected Green Clone universe in under a minute, wearing a monocle and a top-hat
Danced through the first universe and didn't stop for nothing
Played through Fat Cake universe and ate every fat cake, with a hamburger for a face
Beaten the scrolling shooter segment without dying, as a dinosaur
Collected all the hats
Finished the whole damn game
Collected half the hats
Started playing